


Five times

by MossyFlossy



Category: The Invisible Library - Genevieve Cogman
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28900230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MossyFlossy/pseuds/MossyFlossy
Summary: Fives times ___ nearly kisses and one time that they do
Relationships: Irene/Kai (The Invisible Library)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

One...

“Here, allow me.” Kai said, he took Irene’s hand in his before she could respond, his long fingers hot as they wrapped around her wrist in a firm but not overly tight grip and he took the roll of bandages from her other hand, already spotted with blood. He put the bandage down and with his free hand, found the antiseptic from the first aid kit. “How did you manage to do this?”

“I couldn’t get the window lock to budge.” Irene said, glancing at the window that was now open. She had had to force it and in the process, split open half-healed wounds on the palm of her hand, bloodying up herself, the window and some of the hardwood flooring whilst she was at it. She wasn't squeamish, but she felt a bit dizzy, though she was assuming that was due to the pain.

“You don’t like asking for help, do you?” He asked, sighing and shaking his head. “Sorry, but this is going to hurt a little bit.” He poured the antiseptic onto the palm of her hand. Irene swore and he arched a brow. “Goodness, Irene. I hadn't thought that you’d be capable of such language.” He started dabbing at the wound. “I hope you have your tetanus vaccinations up to date.”

“I think it is.” She muttered, pain arching up her hand, soothed somewhat by the gentle way in which Kai was tending to her hand. She looked up at the ceiling, leaning her head on the back of the couch that had come with the house (old, battered and surprisingly comfortable) and slowly exhaling. “Where did you learn to do this?”

“Would you believe it that I was a very clumsy child?” She managed a smile and a snort. “No, really. Transitioning to having two legs was… it took some getting used to.”

“I can only imagine.” She said softly. Kai discarded the blood-soaked cotton that he had been using. “How old were you when you… I don’t really know the terminology. Get a human form?”

“I don’t know the right English words for it. Or in any other language for that matter.” Kai said as he found clean bandaging. “And my age doesn’t exactly translate to human ages. I suppose, to you, two or three? A toddler. I ended up covered in bruises and cuts every other day.” He smiled almost fondly. “My father used to help clean the wounds, he’d get me to do parts of it.”

“Do you miss your family?” Irene asked. She tilted her head and looked down at him. He was pretty much fixated on her hand. He ran his thumb along one of the cuts, his touch was a gentle caress, almost stroking her in a tender way. It didn't hurt.

“Sometimes.” He said, he started to wrap clean bandaging around her hand, doing it in a tight way but it didn't hurt. He didn't look up at her and Irene wondered if Kai wasn't the best at lying, if he knew that he had a tell and was hoping that she didn't pick up on it.

“Kai.”

“No.” He said very quietly. “I don’t. I know that I should. But I don’t.” He paused. “Do you miss your parents?”

“I want to.” She said. “But no, I don’t miss them either. It’s complicated, I suppose. We don’t get to see each other very often. We are too busy.” He used a safety pin to finish off the edge of the bandaging to stop it from coming undone and finally looked at her.

“I know exactly what you mean.” He said. “It’s more complicated than if I miss them or not. There is a lot more to it.” He was still holding her hand and he ducked his head and pressed a kiss to it. “There we go, it’s all better now.” Irene was so surprised that she let out a startled laugh.

“I don’t think that is a recommended course of treatment.” She said. He flipped the first aid kit shut and sat back against the arm of the sofa. “But thank you for the bandages.”

“Ask me for help next time you try to fight the house.” Kai said, looking at the window that had a bloody smear on it now. “I told you that we should have looked for somewhere nicer than this.”

“It has character.” Irene replied.

The sofa was small, they were under an inch away from each other whilst sat side by side and when Irene looked at Kai, their faces were close and now that he wasn't hunched and focusing on her hand, she was looking him in the eye. She had no idea that there were as many shades of blue in his eyes as she could currently count. His breath was warm on her cheeks and she could feel herself flushing scarlet though she wasn't entirely sure as to why.

Kai smirked as he watched the colour spread across her cheeks. “Is something the matter, Irene?” His voice low and husky. “Are you feeling quite alright?” He reached out and ran his fingers across her cheek. “You’re all flushed and rather warm.” Irene’s brain was chattering feverishly, telling herself that she needed to get back and away from him whilst also arguing that there was an inch between them and his lips looked so soft.

Irene parted her lips to speak, before closing her mouth again and shifted as far back from him as she could before her back hit the sofa arm beside her, giving her another half-inch of breathing room. Kai dropped his hand and suddenly she was freezing cold, craving his touch and feeling a little annoyed with herself for having these thoughts. She was an adult, she should be above such… cravings. Yet she was not.

A woman had needs after all.

She cleared her throat. “I should clean up the blood before it stains.”

* * *

Two...

Kai woke in a gasp, sheets tangled around his legs. He could feel the sheen of sweat on his forehead and the nape of his neck. He swallowed, looking around the dark of his room like he was expecting there to be someone with him, watching him. He looked down at his hands, expecting chains but there weren't any. He slumped against his pillows.

Irene knocked on his door. “Kai? Are you okay? I thought I heard something.” He flung a hand out to turn his bedside lamp on and sent his glass of water flying with a splash of water and shattering on the floor. She opened the door without waiting for him to respond after hearing that. He didn't react to her, just staring at the floor in mute shock.

She knelt on the edge of his bed and touched his shoulder. He jumped at the touch, flinching away. Fear flashed across his eyes before the focussed on her. He was still breathing heavily and shivering now despite the heat of the room, the sweat cooling on his skin was an unpleasant sensation.

“Irene…” He breathed her name, his heart was pounding in his chest. “Sorry. Did I wake you up?” She blinked.

“It’s fine.” She looked from the glass and then to him, he was bare-chested. She herself had hastily thrown her dressing robe on over her nightdress and tied it loosely. “It’s fine. What happened?”

“I just knocked my glass off.” He looked back to the shattered glass. “I’ll clean that up, you should go and get back to sleep. I’m fine.”

“Please don’t lie to me.” She said softly. “I know you aren't fine. And I was already at the door when you shattered the glass, I heard it.” She sat back on her heels, tucking her cold toes into the blanket at the end of the bed. “You can talk to me about anything, Kai. I’ll listen.”

“I am fine.” He said, somewhat firmer this time. Irene exhaled.

“And I said don’t lie to me.” She said. “Put a shirt on and go downstairs, I will deal with this.”

“Irene-”

“Do not make me order you, Kai.” She said sharply. “Do it, now. Put the kettle on whilst you are down there, we both need a cup of tea before going back to bed.” Luckily the glass hadn't completely shattered and it was still mainly in a few large shards that were easy to pick up with her shredding her fingertips, the smaller pieces were easily swept up and she quickly wiped the water up too.

He had two cups of tea waiting for her as she brought the pile of glass downstairs and carefully wrapped it up in the previous day's newspaper before dropping it in the bin before she took the teacup off him and led him into the lounge.

“I do not want to talk.” Kai said before she could demand it off him.

“Fine.” She said shortly. “I want you to listen anyway.” She sat in her armchair and nodded for him to sit opposite her before she took a sip of the tea. Green tea. “Sit down.” Kai put the cup down carefully, and then petulantly threw himself down onto the sofa and stared up at the ceiling. “Must you always be so dramatic.”

“Yes.”

“Well, at least you can admit it.” She sighed. “Kai, you can tell me whatever is on your mind. I know that you are having nightmares. I know that you will never admit it to me. I know that you are struggling. It’s okay.”

“No. It isn't.” He said through gritted teeth. “I was kidnapped. I was taken by a Fae. I was weak and I was stupid and that is not okay. It is not okay knowing that I…” He seemed to lose some of his anger. “I’m not good enough.” Irene set her teacup down carefully as she thought of what to say, trying to find what the right words were, and then discarding them because none of them were what he’d want to hear or what he needed to hear.

“Okay.” She finally said in a very soft voice. “I can’t claim to understand what you are currently going through. But you aren’t alone, Kai. I’m here if you want to talk. If you don’t want to talk. If you… I don’t know. If you need to shout at someone to make yourself feel better, I’m here.” Kai came bolt upright in a second.

“Why would I want to take my anger out on you?” He asked. “I would never do that to you.”

“I don’t know how to help you.” Irene spread her hands. “I want to be able to help you. I want to try, if you will let me.”

“I don’t know if you can.” He hunched his shoulders like he could protect himself, even if the enemy was his mind this time. “I was kidnapped, Irene. I am a disappointment to my father. I am a burden to my family. I am a burden to you.”

“No, you aren't.” She moved to sit next to him and she took his hands in hers, squeezing them tightly. “You are not a burden to me, you never have been and you never will be. You are my friend.”

“You could have died because of me.” Kai said, focussing on the way that her hands felt on his. Her grip was almost desperate, fingers pressing into his skin. Her hands were cooler than his and he found it soothing, like splashing cold water on one's skin during the height of summer. “You could have been hurt. And that would have been my fault.”

“No, it wouldn't have been.” She said. “You were kidnapped. Anything that happened after that was the result of Lord and Lady Guantes. It wasn't your fault.” She didn't know what else to say or do, for once, words didn't feel like they would be enough. There was only so far that a language, any language, could stretch, and she’d reached the end of what she could say.

So, she knelt up, wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rested her cheek against his. “You are not a burden to me.” He was shivering in her arms and slowly reached out to slide his arms around her waist and hold her as tightly as he could, pulling her onto his lap. He buried his face in the crook of her neck. “It’s okay.” She said softly, combing her fingers through his hair, it had come loose at some point in the night. “I’m here. I won’t be going anywhere any time soon.”

“You can’t promise that.” He said. “You can’t always be here.”

“I can promise to try though.” She said. “I will always try to be here, to protect you.” She drew back a bit and looked at him. It would be so easy to kiss him. It was just like their talk when the letter from his family had arrived. Promises and unspoken things making the air between them thick. It would have been so easy to just kiss him and let that say everything that she couldn’t.

She wanted to. She wanted to be that for him, that sort of comfort. She wanted it for herself as well, someone to wake up to. Someone to fall asleep with. She wanted someone to come home to.

Kai was the one to pull away and start drinking his tea again and Irene slowly exhaled before returning to her chair. They were both tired and stressed and emotional. Now was not the time for such emotions, even if it would have been so good to give in. It would just ruin their friendship and she wasn't willing to lose him for one night of pleasure.

* * *

Three...

“Kai?” Irene said. The footsteps were getting closer and they weren't near enough to a door. He looked at her and she grabbed his hand and pulled him close to her. She backed them against the wall and kept him tight to her. “Don’t think too far into this, please.” She said. She slid her hand up into his hair, watching his pupils dilate as she tugged her head down until their lips were just about to touch.

“Irene?” Kai said her name in such a soft, gentle way that made her warm inside. She couldn’t describe the way that she felt to hear her name in such a way. It was low and husky and she suppressed a shiver. He swallowed, suddenly feeling like the room was so much hotter. Maybe it was having Irene pressed against him.

She put one of his hands on her hip and he gripped her on instinct. Irene’s eyes flicked down to his lips. She just wanted it to look like they’d been caught, but she could have actually kissed him if she wanted to. She knew that he wanted it too, his eyes were dark with lust, breathing coming fast and rough.

The door opened and Irene let out an overly dramatic gasp and pushed Kai away from her, and looked to the guard that had just come through the door. “Oh my goodness.” She said, keeping to the dramatic tone. “I am… so sorry. I-”

“Guests are not allowed in these parts of the house.” The guard said dryly, he’d probably caught a half dozen people doing just what they had been ‘doing’. And some probably a lot further along.

“Of course.” Kai said, finally recovering. “We’ll just…” Irene grabbed his hand and pulled him from the guard, continuing to apologise to him as they left, the weight of the book that they’d stolen heavy in her purse.

“Let’s get back to the Library.” Irene muttered.

“Yeah.” Kai swallowed, his mouth dry. He flicked his tongue out to wet his lips. “Irene?”

“Kai?”

“I really thought that you were about to kiss me there.” She smiled and laughed, a little awkward and forced.

“Sorry. I think it worked on the guard though.” She said, she slipped her arm through his and they casually strolled around the edge of the party, declining wine when it was offered to them. “It was the first thing that I thought of when I heard him coming.” Kai glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, he could still feel his heart racing.

“I will admit that it was a good plan.” He said. Irene nodded graciously. “Though it would have been nice to have a warning beforehand. Had I not heard the guard too, I would have thought that maybe you have gotten over the idea that you consider it inappropriate.”

“It is inappropriate.” She replied. “I am your teacher, Kai. I would be taking advantage of a power difference. It would be an abuse of my position and I couldn’t do that to you.”

“I do like that is your only excuse.” Kai said, snapping back to all bright and happy. “It gives me hope for when you aren't my teacher.” Irene was about to tell him off for that flight of fancy when a guard behind them shouted. Kai took her hand and they started running.

* * *

Four…

Irene was stirring a pan of milk on the stove. It wasn't often that she wanted to drink hot chocolate, but when she did, she was going to do it properly. It was raining outside, hard and heavy and she wanted nothing more than to have a hot drink and to wrap herself up in a thick blanket with something good to read.

Kai was out with Vale and she did not envy that of either of them. She was a bit bored, but she was warm and dry and that was what was important. She was making enough hot chocolate for Kai as well though as he would hopefully be back before too long and he’d need the hot drink, no matter how much he loved the rain.

She added dark chocolate to the milk, wanting it to be strong and a bit bitter. Kai had a whole shelf of herbs and spices and she found cinnamon and added a generous dash, mixing it in before it could clump up. The last thing that she wanted halfway through a good cup of hot chocolate was a mouthful of cinnamon.

She ladled some into a mug and found the paper bag of marshmallows in the cupboard and added as many as she could without them beginning to fall out or overflow the hot chocolate. She was just getting comfortable in the lounge when she heard Kai’s key in the door.

“Irene?” Kai called as he kicked his shoes off and hung up his coat, dripping wet. He poked his head around the lounge door. “It is such lovely weather tonight, isn't it?”

“It is the perfect atmosphere for a good horror book.” She said, tapping the book that she was just about to start reading. “There’s hot chocolate in the kitchen for you.” His eyes widened in a manner that reminded her of a cat spying a ball of wool. It made her smile on instinct.

“I will be back as soon as I am in dry clothes.” He promised. “Could you light the fire?” The sound of the crackling fire and the rain pounding on the window panes was almost perfection. Irene collected Kai’s hot chocolate and had it waiting for him when he came back downstairs, hair loose and still a little damp but now dressed in warm pyjamas with his robe wrapped around himself. She recognised the slippers that she’d got him for Christmas the year before.

He spent a few minutes to chose his own book to read and looked between her, sat on the sofa and draped in blankets, and the armchair. She was closer to the fire, but he wasn't sure if she’d want him quite so close until she held part of her blanket for him and he grinned before bounding over and throwing himself down beside her.

Irene sighed and tucked some of her blanket around his shoulders. “Heavens Kai! You are freezing.”

“It’s pretty cold out.” He said dryly as he picked up the hot chocolate. “I’ll warm up, especially with you so close to me.” He smiled and Irene felt a rush of warmth through her body, settling in her stomach, buzzing along her skin. She smiled back, swallowing the wave of heat that she was filled with.

“The hot chocolate should help.” She said, picking up her own cup and bumping it against his. “It has cinnamon in.” Kai made a soft moaning noise as he took a sip of his drink and Irene could feel herself flush. There was… an odd pleasure of knowing that she could get Kai to make such a sound, a gentle moan in the back of his throat.

She looked away from him when he looked at her. She fixated her eyes on the book in her hands, feeling his own eyes burning into her skin and she wished that she didn't blush quite so easily. “It’s really good.” He said, low and husky, matching the soft moan. “Thank you.”

Irene cleared her throat and tried to make it sound relaxed and casual. “No problem.” She said. “You cannot go wrong with hot chocolate.” she was fairly certain that she’d got the flush under her control and she looked up at him again. He was a bit pink-cheeked with wide eyes, watching her intensely. She swallowed, her own flush returning with a vengeance, cheeks burning. “I-” She coughed. “I’m glad that you enjoy it.”

God she wanted to hear that moan again, she wanted to know what it would sound like to have him moan in her ear, to draw a shaky gasp out of him, make him gasp her name.

She was fairly certain that Kai was temptation in human form.

Kai shivered and she managed to push the thoughts away, reaching out to touch his cheek. “You are going to catch a cold if you don’t get warmed up soon.” She said, she shrugged the blanket off her shoulders and wrapped the rest of it around him before getting up to add a bit more wood to the fire, cajoling it until the flames were leaping up in the hearth and the heat was rolling off it to fill the entire room.

“I’ll be fine.” Kai insisted.

“No, I am not having a week of you whinging about feeling sick.” She said, shaking her head. “This is as much for me as it is for you.”

“Irene,” He reached out and wrapped his fingers around her wrist, his hand was cold. “You were warming me up plenty already.” His smirk was tantalising. “Especially having you sat so close to me.” He stood up and very carefully wrapped her up so it was like they were hugging whilst shrouded in the wool. “And the hot chocolate was helping too.” He reached out and touched his thumb to the corner of her lips, where she was fairly certain there was some chocolate. “You are nice and warm.”

“Maybe you should have had a warm shower.” She said. “It would warm you up far faster than I could.” She wanted to move away. She didn't want to be like this, practically drowning in his embrace. There was so many temptations in between them, so many things that they could not talk of because that would make it real and she didn't know how to deal with that.

It was easy to pretend that she didn't have these feelings, to lock them away in a little box and throw away the key.

She was sure that he could feel her racing heart. She could certainly hear his. He dragged his thumb across her cheek and cupped her jaw. “Irene?” His voice was rough and low and she knew exactly what he wanted to say, to ask.

She wanted to say yes. She wondered if his lips would taste like chocolate, if her kiss would draw another moan from him, how he’d feel beneath her in her bed. She wanted to know if his hair was soft when she tangled her fingers into the loose waves. If he’d gasp her name.

“I think I’m going to have an early night.” She finally said. It was freezing cold to no longer be wrapped up in his presence. “Goodnight, Kai.” She collected her cup and book and left before he could say anything, she knew that she wouldn't be able to say no if he did.

* * *

Five…

Irene was nearly asleep on his shoulder. Kai wrapped his arm around her and Irene made a soft noise of annoyance but she didn't pull away, too tired to do that. “Just go to sleep, Irene.” Kai said. “I’ll keep watch whilst you rest.” The slow movements of the train were lulling and he was almost as tired as she seemed to be.

“We need to be coming up with a plan.” She muttered and pulled herself upright. Someone had come by and offered coffee earlier, her cup was still half full though steadily growing cooler. She took a deep sip of it. “I can rest later.” Kai still had his arm around her and she wasn't willing to shrug out of his embrace. It was comforting.

“And we can plan later.” He tightened his embrace. “Just get some sleep.” It was easier in some worlds to pretend that they were a couple, it saved Irene from unwanted advances and meant that there weren't comments when they did fall asleep together on a train or wanted to get one hotel room.

Irene sighed and dropped her head again, Kai was just as stubborn as she was, sometimes even more stubborn, trying to argue that she didn't need rest rarely went well, it was one of the few quarrels that they frequently had but she never won. He drew her snug to his side and rested his cheek against the top of her head.

“Remember Russia?” He asked. “The sled ride?”

“Of course.” She’d been so confused for that ride. Torn between her feelings for Kai and her unwillingness to admit that. Trying to pretend that she had feelings for someone else. A relationship with Vale would have made more sense. It would have been nice.

It wasn't what she had wanted though.

“Did you know that you talk in your sleep?” He asked. “Just a little bit, but you do.” She went to pull away but he was strong. “You don’t snore though.” He started rubbing circles on her shoulder with his thumb, soft and soothing. “It was quite sweet to hear it.”

“Now I really don’t want to fall asleep.” She muttered. Kai snorted, she could feel the laughter rumble through his chest. It was an odd comfort.

“Don’t worry. I wasn't making fun of you.” Kai said. She could have sworn that she felt him kiss the top of her head and she shivered before she could stop herself. “Are you cold? You can have my jacket if you need it.” He didn't wait for her to respond and he pulled away to take his jacket off and neatly wrap it around her shoulders before she could say that she didn't need it. “There we go, is that better?”

Irene looked up at him, he was watching her with worry. She didn't know what he was so worried about though. What she had done to deserve such worry. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m worried about you.” Kai said after a long pause. He didn't wrap his arm around her again. “I know that you haven't been sleeping well recently. Or at all some nights.” She had thought that she’d managed to get away with it, but her sudden want to start wearing makeup to make her look like she had actually managed a restful night clearly had not gone unnoticed. She mentally cursed Vale. Clearly, Kai had been spending too much time learning from the detective.

“It’s fine. Just a bout of insomnia.” She said, like it was the same as the common cold.

“That’s a poor lie, Irene.” He said. “And I saw how you looked in that library. You were gone for a moment, like you were seeing something different to what I was. Feeling something different.” She sighed. “You can tell me.”

“It’s fine.” She said. “I’m fine. It was just a bit shocking to see it like that. That is all, Kai.” What could she say? She was traumatised? She had brought so much ruin on so many books and she found herself utterly detestable for it? She looked in the mirror and saw someone, something, that disgusted her to the core.

That she dreamt of those books burning?

She could smell ash in her hair and it took a lot to remind her that it wasn't still there, but some nights and mornings she found herself scrubbing at dirt that couldn’t possibly still be there.

“You aren’t fine.” He said, wrapping his arm around her again. “You don’t have to say anything, but I want you to know that, if you wanted to say something, you could do. And I would be here and I would listen for however long to wanted to talk for.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She replied.

“I know. But if you change your mind, Irene?” She looked up at him and the smile that he offered her held so many unspoken words. “I will always be here for you.”

“You can’t promise me that.” She replied, shaking her head, her new short hair feeling strange on the back of her neck.

“I can promise to try.” He said, echoing something she’d said to him so many months ago. A promise that she still held herself to, to try to be there for him, no matter what. “I do promise to try, as long as we are both living, I shall try. If you get yourself killed doing something stupid, obviously I will stop trying.” He put two fingers under her chin and tilted her head up to look her in the eye.

Irene was suddenly reminded of every atrocious romance novel that she’d read where a character had been in that exact position with her lover or someone that she was trying to convince herself that she didn't love. Kai leant a little closer and she didn't know if she should pull away or kiss him.

“I also promise to try and stop the stupid things from killing you.” He smiled and entirely destroyed the moment. She silently cursed him for getting under her skin with a mere smile.

The bastard.

* * *

One…

The hotel room was freezing cold but the bed deliciously warm. Irene lay with her back against Kai’s chest. She was fairly certain that he was still asleep, but she didn't shift away to check, luxuriating in the heat of his embrace. He was like a furnace and with the wintery temperature despite the fireplace, she was unwilling to move away.

It was sometime later that Kai shifted, a sign of him slowly coming conscious again, and then she did move, rolling over to duck her head underneath his jaw and slip her arm over his middle. “Morning.” His voice was low and husky, thick with sleep. He coughed to clear his throat. “Is it morning?”

“Early afternoon.” Irene replied. Kai groaned and tightened his arms around her. “My thoughts exactly.” Kai fumbled with the sheets and dragged them up over their heads, cocooning them. Irene laughed but it cracked halfway through, making her cough, tasting blood.

“Irene? Do you need anything?” He asked, suddenly tense and alarmed.

“No.” Irene swallowed once the coughing had subsided. “No. I’ll be fine. It just hurts a bit. That’ll take a while to fade.” He sighed and leant back in order to take a look at her, using the thin light seeping through the covers. He swept hair out of her face.

“Are you sure? We could find a doctor in this world for you to see before travelling back to Vale’s world again.”

“I am sure.” Her skin tingled where he had touched it. “I want to be home as soon as possible. Back in my own bed.” She sighed and stretched. “Though this is a very comfortable bed.”

“There is something nice about having a good sleep in your own bed though.” Kai said. “I… Think I am getting used to the one in Vale’s spare room.”

“Move back in with me.” Irene said before she had the time to come up with a reason why she shouldn’t suggest it. “We are working together, it only makes sense for us to share a lodging again. Share my bed with me.”

“Are you sure that that is a good idea?” He asked. “Someone could get, well, the right idea. But I know that you like your privacy and I wouldn't want to take that.” She was grateful that he was giving her that chance, to withdraw in on herself, but she didn't want to. She wanted this to work between them and it wouldn't if she took the opportunity. She needed to make a leap of faith.

She had to allow herself to trust him and to trust herself.

“I want you to share my home and my bed.” She said. “I understand if you don’t want to, I know that it is moving fast, but I want you to, if you would like to.”

Kai pushed her back onto her pillows and he kissed her. It was soft and gentle and Irene ached for much more. She clung to him, pulling him to her chest as she slid a hand into his hair. They’d had a month to explore their relationship but they were so rarely alone and free to do much more than kiss before being interrupted.

They had not interruption here though and Irene parted her lips against Kai’s, a heat settling in her stomach as she heard him groan. It was… perfection. Everything about that moment was. His touch wiped away the thoughts of the various aches and pains that she felt. It let her forget about all of the stresses that they had been through. It was a reminder of every single promise that they’d made to each other since they had met. It was a reminder that they had survived despite the attempts of a malicious Fae and Dragon King.

To Kai it was as much a blissful departure from his pains. He could forget it all in favour of soaking up all of Irene’s affection as she broke the kiss to gasp for air, a faint smile on her lips. “We don’t have to be leaving soon.” He said. “I’m sure Vale can wait a little longer for us to be ready to leave.” And then he was kissing her again and Irene surrendered to it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ao Ji x Ren Shun
> 
> This one is much darker than the first. Three almost kisses and one real kiss. A lot of blood and a deeply unhealthy relationship.   
> And death.

One…

He ached all over. Muscles hurt that Ren Shun hadn’t even known that he’d had. He wished for nothing more than a very hot shower and to fall into his bed and sleep off the aches and pains from a long day. He had no idea how much it would hurt from merely doing admin! Running around after a mere dozen spies to correlate different reports into one usually one had him going up and down stairs until he was fairly certain he’d gone about the same distance of a marathon.

But his day was no over. He had one final task, a report to his majesty Ao Ji before he would be allowed to retire for the night. And he would only be allowed that if his king was satisfied with his work.

If.

He smoothed out his shirt, tucking the computer tablet underneath one arm to ensure that he looked presentable, before he knocked on the door to Ao Ji’s private office. He was called in and he took a deep breath before stepping through the door.

He nearly staggered, the office was surely below zero degrees. It was freezing in there and he could feel himself begin to shiver as he shakily went to one knee on the frosty floors. “You may report to me.” Ao Ji said. “Come closer.” He was stood looking out of a window, surveying gardens blanketed in snow. It was always snowing in the mountains and when it wasn't, Ao Ji made it.

“Your majesty,” He began as he got to his feet and moved closer. “May I begin with thanking you for the position that you have given me? I hope that-” Ao Ji held out a hand to stop him.

“I do not care for… Being buttered up.” Ao Ji finally settled on. “Flattery will not get you where you want to be.”

“O-of course.”

“If I say jump, you jump. If I say I want something, then that is what you do.” Ao Ji continued. “Some kings, my brothers, may wish for a servant to suck up to them, to lay the flattery on thick. I think that we are above that, don’t you?”

“Yes, my king.” Ao Ji’s smile was cold and toothy.

“Excellent. Then I believe that we should get along just fine. Give me your report.” He snapped his fingers before holding his hand out for the tablet.

“You don’t want me to read it?” Ren Shun asked.

“I am more than capable of reading it for myself.” Ao Ji snarled before snatching the tablet away and tapping the screen to get it to light up. “Password?”

“Four-nine-eight-one-one.” Ren Shun said with only a slight thought that he did not want anyone having the passcode to his computer tablet, even if that was just his one for work. “I was unaware that this was how you normally conduct these things.” Ren Shun said, bowing his head. “I would have printed off a paper copy or perhaps sent you the digital one ahead of time, had I been informed.”

“This will do.” Ao Ji said, sliding his finger down the scroll bar at the side, scanning over the writing. “Is this it? Two pages? For twelve people’s work? Where is the rest of it?” Ren Shun swallowed.

“Well, my king, a lot of the information that we received back from our people in the field was the same, so I correlated it all to get the necessary information without you having to read five accounts of the same meeting.” He explained, rushing through his words. “I read through all of the reports and put the information that matched into one report and if you scroll down…” Ao Ji did so. “That is all of the information from our informants that doesn’t match up, some are contradictory or some were simply missing facts due to their angle of view.”

“Very good.” Ao Ji nearly purred. “I think we will get along splendidly, Ren Shun.” Ren Shun suppressed a smile as joy ran through him. He stood up a little straighter, though still did not meet the king’s eye. That would have been impolite. “Try not to let that go to your head though, I run a tight ship and expect absolute fealty. Do I make myself clear? I know that your brother serves my own kin but we are not alike and your experiences will not be.”

“I never got along well with Li Ming.” Ren Shun replied. “I do not care for his experience and I doubt that he shall care for mine.”

“Perfect.” Ao Ji put the tablet down on the desk. “I have one last task to ask of you. Though you are more than welcome to reject it and retire for the evening.” He moved closer until he was stood right in front of Ren Shun. He reached out and caught his servant’s jaw between long fingers, nails digging into his skin. “I have no one to tend me tonight. Will you do it?”

Ren Shun should feel the cold breath of the icy dragon on his face, brushing across his lips in an almost kiss. “Tend you?” Ren Shun asked through chattering teeth.

“Yes.” Ao Ji smiled again and leant closer until their lips were almost touching and if he had wanted to, Ren Shun could have leant into the grasp and kissed the king. If he wanted to. “My bedchambers. Will you do it?”

“Yes…” He breathed and suddenly Ao Ji was moving away from him and he found himself able to breath again, he hadn't even realised that he’d been breathless.

“Good. I’ll wait for you up there.”

##

Two…

“Walk with me.” When Ao Ji gave an order like that, Ren Shun dropped everything that he was doing to rush to his side. He collected Ao Ji’s cloak from a servant offering it and silently draped it over his king’s shoulders, Ao Ji did the clasp up. “I want to see the gardens.” They were in a different world and a different estate, all of them where elaborately decorated and somewhere in a part of the world where the weather was bitterly cold and prone to heavy snowfall.

This was one of Ao Ji’s smaller homes, though it still required several dozen servants in order to maintain it. The gardens were amongst the more beautiful in Ren Shun’s opinion, though the stream running through it perhaps biased his opinions some what.

The pathway was lined in rose bushes, all of the blooms were snow white and he wondered that, like in Alice in wonderland, the king would have them painted with white paint if one dared bloom bloody red. All of the flowers were white in fact. Not that you would really notice since most days there was ice or snow.

Even now in August there was frost on the ground.

“Is there something on your mind, my king?” Ren Shun asked curiously. “Something that I may be able to offer assistance with?”

“No.” Ao Ji said shortly. He plucked a rose from a bush and spun it idly between his fingers for a moment. “I just wanted company for my walk. You are… decent company.” Ren Shun hid his pleasure at hearing that.

“I live to serve you, your majesty.” He said, bowing his head.

“I know that you do.” Ao Ji said, he started to pull petals off the rose as they continued to walk, letting them fall to the ground one at a time. “You live to serve me, and if required, your death shall serve me as well. Remember that.”

“Of course I will, my king.” Ren Shun swallowed. He didn't not say aloud that he hoped that his death would never be asked of him. “I shall do anything that you ever require of me, and I shall not forget that.”

“Good. Your predecessor did forget what I demand on my servants, complete loyalty, no matter what. Hopefully I can mould you into a better servant that he was.”

“I hope that I already am.” Ren Shun tried to ignore the snort of derision. “But there is always room for improvement.” He would do anything to make that improvement. To make sure that his king didn't see fit to dispose of him. He had heard the rumours of his predecessor, killed for questioning his king. He would never do that.

He had to be better, to prove that he could do it. He could not disappoint his family. But more importantly, he would not disappoint his king in such a way. He was above that. He was better than that.

He watched the remaining petal fall like a snowflake, catching on the breeze before finally settle in the frost before being trodden on. They continued walking.

There was a small pavillion at the centre of the garden that over looked the stream, the wood creaked softly beneath their feet as Ao Ji sat in his normal seat, one that could see almost the entire the garden, beautiful underneath a blanket of frost. The stream was covered in a thin layer of ice. Ren Shun wanted to see how loudly it would crunch if he were to break it and feel the fresh water upon his skin.

“Sit with me.” Ao Ji said, and he did so, kneeling at his king’s feet with his head bowed. “I think this is my favourite place to be. So peaceful and so quiet.”

“The gardens are beautiful, my king.” Ren Shun said quietly. “Thank you for asking me to walk with you.”

“I really need to get you out of the habit of flattery.” Ao Ji sighed. “It is so irritating.”

“I am sorry, my king.” Ren Shun said quickly. “I shall… restrain myself.”

“Or I shall do it for you.” Ao Ji smiled. “And most of my servants do not like it when I have to do that to them, and I hardly enjoy getting my hands dirty.”

“Such a task is beneath you and I shall strive to ensure it is unnecessary.” Ren Shun said. Ao Ji reached out to touch his cheek.

“Perfect.” He smiled and leant closer, the familiar sensation of cool breath on his skin sent a tingle down Ren Shun’s spine, and then Ao Ji pulled back again and he tried to not look disappointed.

##

Three…

Ren Shun staggered through the doorway and dropped to his knees, streaked with blood and gasping for breath. It hurt. Everything hurt. He couldn’t even pick one injury from the other. He knew that a lot of the blood was his own, he was bleeding from several gashes, though he’d picked some up from different people.

“My king.” He said, bowing his head. “I am sorry for my failings.” Ao Ji tutted before getting up from his throne and crossing the floor in a rustle of fine silks. He walked across the white marble to his servant and he knelt down in front of him. Ren Shun looked up, shaking with both fear and fatigue. He was beginning to grow cold too. “My king?” His voice shivered.

“You did not fail me.” Ao Ji said far too kindly. Fear settled in Ren Shun’s gut. “I failed you. I have been too easy on you for your past failings, you had no hope.” His hand shot out to grip Ren Shun around the throat. He gasped, choking as he tried to inhale on instinct. “I should have been harsher on you. Punished you harder. You wouldn't fail me if you had been taught better.”

Ren Shun wondered if, perhaps, Ao Ji meant that he wouldn't have returned if he had known better.

“I am sorry, my king.” He managed to force out, he was beginning to grow dizzy, spots appearing in his vision. “Please, I won’t disappoint you again.” Ao Ji leant in close.

“See to it that you do not.” He growled, eyes flashing ruby red in his fury, blood flowed over his white scales. “I would not want to have to replace you so soon.” He rose to his feet, dragging Ren Shun up with him. Ren Shun gasped, trying desperately to breath but refusing to fight back, having to force himself to keep his arms at his sides as Ao Ji tilted his head back.

Not in front of court. He thought. Not in front of everyone.

“You look so lovely when you’re bleeding like this.” Ao Ji hissed, lips almost against his cheek. “I have half a mind to have you wait in my room for me whilst I finish up here.”

That was almost worse than being killed before the court.

“Please, my king.” His vision was grey and he could feel himself on the verge of passing out. Ao Ji released him and he dropped to the ground, gasping for air, his throat burning slightly more than the rest of his body did, just enough to bring it to the front of his mind.

“Get yourself out of my sight.” Ao Ji spat. “Get cleaned up and seen to. I will come for you when I am done here.”

##

One…

  
  


It was cold in Paris and even colder stood close to his king. He knew the city well, he had been the one sent to research it, to find a hotel to stay in, a shop to outfit the king in the finest Parisian fashion, to find the best place for proper tea.

Ren Shun followed behind his king, treading in his shadow as they walked through the snow laden city at night, the street lamps dully flickered and cast a meagre light to lead the way. Looking up he couldn’t see the moon or the stars, the clouds caused by his king was simply too thick, the snow too heavy, for any of their light to make their way through.

Ao Ji seemed to hold his own glow, crystal white like the snow around them but unnatural almost. Out of place in such a world. Out of place anywhere but the frosty palace that he normally resided on, preferring to rule from afar, this was the most hands on Ao Ji had been in decades, if not longer.

He tightened his cloak around himself, grateful that, at the very least, he could feel the spirits of the river as the approached the Seine. Even beneath the thick ice, he could feel them and that brought him some peace. All of the peace that he could take in such a moment. Ao Ji hadn't confessed his plans, he didn't need too, for Ren Shun knew what needed to be done.

This treaty could not be signed. His king did not wish for it to be signed, so he didn't wish for it to be signed and thus, it must be disrupted through any means necessary.

Any means.

“Where are we going, my King?” He asked, trying to stop his teeth from chattering as the snow was beginning to dampen his clothes. He was used to it though.

“Just a little further.” Ao Ji muttered. “Not much further now.” Ren Shun nodded even though he was behind his king, out of his sight, and soon his life. He kept on walking. He knew that he could turn and run, to throw himself down to the feet of another monarch and beg for their protection, to tell them everything. But instead, he held his head high. This was one thing that he could do for his king, that only he could do.

And he would do it.

He wouldn't betray his king.

And that was even if he could escape. He wouldn't be able to run fast enough and shift forms without being caught and he would rather die with dignity and honour than running and cowering. He was a dragon. He would have his pride right until the very end.

They’d already walked past Le Meurice, all of the lights in the high up rooms turned off but the lobby was still brightly lit with a manned door and a porter waiting for late night guests returning from plays and operas. He could have gone in. He could have spoken to a senior Librarian. But that would have given the Library more power. Power that they should have. And not to mention that it would strengthen the Fae’s side and he could not have that.

They’d paused in the Jardin des Tuileries, walking around the edge of a frozen fountain. Ao Ji had stopped and took his hand. Ren Shun did not wear gloves and his fingers were bitterly cold. It had hurt to have Ao Ji’s own ice like hand on his, but he didn't pull away, and Ao Ji kept a hold of him, like he was doubting Ren Shun’s resolve, like he could sense his fear and the urge to run, but he wouldn't give his servant that opportunity.

They could see the Eiffel tower from one of the bridges, newly built and brightly lit, sparkling dully on the ice of the Seine. Ren Shun stared at it, his breath coming out in clouds, faster now. He wondered if this was the last thing that he was going to see. It was the perfect chance to do it. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, waiting for the pain of the knife, but it didn't come.

“It looks wonderful, doesn’t it?” Ao Ji said and he opened his eyes again.

“Yes.” He breathed. “Paris is… it always has been a beautiful city to visit. There is so much history, even deep within the ground.” Would Ao Ji leave his body there? Or would he hide it away? Would his bones lie with the long dead that lay within the catacombs? Would he be deposited in the river to be swept away?

Would his family be allowed a burial?

“Look at me.” He did so. “If you could ask anything of me in this moment, what would you ask of me?” Ao Ji asked him, almost gently. “Your hearts desire.” What would he ask for? Could he beg for his life? Get on his knees and grovel? Was he done living? Was he happy with his life? Had he seen enough? Had he been enough?

“A kiss, my king.” He finally said. “Just that.” He had been enough. He had done what his king had wanted and surely that was enough? It had to be. He couldn’t be scared now. He couldn’t. He refused to die in fear.

Ao Ji’s fingers were hard on his jaw, holding him still as he stepped closer and kissed Ren Shun. Ren Shun shut his eyes and reached out to grasp the front of Ao Ji’s coat as he parted his lips against the king’s. It was rough and hard and it hurt. His lips throbbed with pain. But it was perfect, it was what he had wanted for so long, what he had craved on the nights that he had been left bruised and bloodied after making mistakes, when he’d been hurt for his king’s satisfaction.

Ao Ji had never granted him a mere kiss before, that would have been too gentle for the ice cold king. Too kind.

He had never kissed Ren Shun, even when taking him to bed. They had never once kissed.

Ao Ji stepped back, and he smiled, all bitterly cold and almost sad in a strange way. “Are you satisfied?” He asked. Ren Shun looked back at the frozen river with it’s dull lights blurring across the surface.

“I-” He couldn’t get more of that out before the agony of the blade cut into him and he tasted blood. He coughed, spattering it across the bridge railings, almost black against the pure white. He gasped, or he tried to gasp. He was suddenly breathless and light headed, unable to do anything but cough up blood as he collapsed to his knees.

How…

He wanted to cry out. He wanted to transform and run. He wanted to be free of this pain. Even the ice that he lay on did nothing to dull that agony. He was scared. He was so scared. Everything hurt and it just kept hurting. He could feel his blood soak through his clothes and in the back of his mind he wondered if Ao Ji had intended to miss the vital organs.

If he had wanted to watch him slowly bleed to death, writhing in untold agony.

He did manage to cry out as he felt the knife be yanked out of his back again, before choking as his mouth filled with blood again.

The world was going grey around him.

He felt fingers on his cheek again and Ao Ji knelt down by him. “Thank you for your services.” He said, before kissing his temple. “I could not have done this without you.” He was growing colder and finally the pain was starting to numb, one last reward for his service? Easing the pain? Or merely death approaching him.

How he wished he had run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, comments make my week ^^


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